I know I really need to pick up
speed on the updates, I’m currently running a month behind schedule. But then I
don’t see anybody dying to hear the updates anyway, so I think I’m fine. But
even so I will give an explanation for the delay, and that is I only came back
today from my Honeymoon.. Yay! My first foreign trip! Yes I’m a typical Indian
bride in a lot more ways than I would want to accept. It was the most awesome
experience ever! But more about it later, now let’s first clear the backlog,
shall we?
Bidding a brief farewell to my
beloved Delhi, I headed on to my Sasural (Funny.. English has no apt for this J ) accompanied with my
new family and for support by (Not so) little brother. It is customary that the
newly wed bride takes along her brother. The logic behind is simple, among the
sea of unknown people that she must now accept a familiar face would be
reassuring. However, more than for my reassurance I was more worried about him
as he didn’t understand the language at all and did not know anyone else but
me, I on the other hand had my husband to make it simple for me. But then my
mother-in-law is the sweetest person, she made sure he didn’t feel out of place
or out of his comfort zone. This included letting the kid sleep till late (this
she let me also do J
Yes the age old rule the bride must wake up before everyone else didn’t apply
on me J)
and the breakfast the way we eat at home. So yes, that tension was erased.
And now let me get on to the real deal. My
first encounter with the Bong culture happened in the train itself, so all the
Bong movies/serials so shamelessly mocking Kaal Raatri made me doubt if such a
thing actually happens, turns out it does! What’s it all about you ask? Well
the first night after being married the bride and the groom aren’t supposed to
see each other. It was hardly a constraint as next day we were travelling J. This was lesson
number one in Bong culture.
Lesson number two was when I entered the house
for the first time officially as the bride of the house, they had called a
local makeup artist to do my makeup for the event, let me tell you the truth I
did NOT approve of the RED lipstick at all! But Sid says that’s the locally
accepted color of the bride (That does explain him wondering why would I
deliberately change my lip color to brown.. Men I tell you..No sense of
fashion!) Lesson number two every Bong Bride has got to have Blood Red lips!
Anyway that aside, the event of the
bride entering the house for the first time is called Bou Bhaat (Literal
translation would be Bride-Rice i.e the first meal that the Bride makes in the
house). And I had no idea I was such a celebrity, or rather my MIL was so social.
There were near about 100 people waiting to have a look at me at this “informal”
ceremony. Seriously it’s like the North Indian Muuh Dikhayi, ever seen so many
people at the house on the day after the wedding? I haven’t! On top of that was
the unbearable heat in the house owing to the above mention sea of people,
camera lights and the very obvious humid weather of Kolkata! I was seriously
baking in the Banarasi saree, clubbed with the itching feeling of red lipstick
on my face! But must say the irritation was relieved when the gifts started
pouring in, no I didn’t open them as I was getting them, but I can make out a jewelry
box from a mile away J.
So I’ve been told Bongs don’t appreciate cash as gifts, this is a pure contrast
to the standard gifting practices followed in Delhi, but then I saw why. Bongs
put serious effort into buying gifts, true I got a lot of bed spreads, but I also
got a lot of stuff that I have very happily incorporated in my daily life( Did I
mention the jewelry? Oh of course I did J).
This made it lesson number three: Bongs know the art of gifting!
The formal ceremony is pretty
short though 20 minutes max. I know the word suggests I’m supposed to be making
a meal, but did I mention I have the sweetest MIL, when I arrived everything
was done (You can’t expect me to cook to a hundred people can you?) I was just
asked to touch the utensils. This is not it to be true, all throughout the week
I was there she didn’t let me do a single household chore! Blessed to me
<Touchwood>
I mentioned Kaal raatri didn’t I?
The next night to compensate, the cousins do up the bed with flowers and everything
(totally filmy.. and not forget so embarrassing) which is to be photographed for
future mockery I believe as any other reason for keeping evidence eludes me. It
was even more embarrassing as I we made silly poses, my brother just looked and
felt awkward himself in the background!
Anyway, the day ended! The
reception was not until 3 days and my parents arrived in 2, so that made the
next day free for meeting the relatives who could not make it to the wedding.
That was quick, and then to kill the time and mingle with my new relatives, we
went for a movie. The movie should be easy to guess: “Two States”. I went to
watch it looking like my own version of two states wearing the North Indian
Chura and the Bong Shakha, Paula, Loha. People looked at me all kinds of
confused for Bongs are not used to any other red and white bangles other than
the ones mentioned above. The movie review? It was alright, too stretched,
waste of time. Any way you get the gist, now let me skip to the reception.
So for the reception, first thing
I must talk about is the makeup artist. Why you ask? Well.. she’s one of the
most renowned artists in the city (Why I wonder!). She wanted me to be there 5
hours in advance! Yes, no kidding! What she was going to do with me I had no
idea. Bottomline, I spent most of my reception day at the parlor, watching the
painstakingly slow speed in which she worked on me. While she slowly did and
re-did my nails, I realized why I was asked to spend 5 hours there. I was
comparing it to the bridal makeup I got done in Delhi, she was super quick,
super smooth and had me ready in two and half hours flat! But then , there was
one thing that separates a Bong a bride from a North Indian one; and that’s
called the “Chandan”. It’s the white motif design around the eyes that is quintessential
to only Bongs. That intricate design making is an art in itself. To the uninitiated, it may seem the same
across brides, but each one is drawn with so much finesse and requires so much
patience (both on the artist and the bride) that it cannot be over looked.
Post makeup I was ready to face
the biggest challenge I have ever faced in my life till yet! Standing on 4 inches
heels for a good 6 hours, to add to it was the extremely heavy (even heavier
than the one in Bou Bhaat) Banarasi Saree and the extremely intolerable hot,
humid still weather. Also, with all the jewelry I wore, I felt like female
version of Bappi Lahiri.. No kidding! That didn’t help combating the heat
either!
There were a 100 people who had
attended the Bou Bhaat, to what it seemed to me a 10000 attended the reception.
I might have been hallucinating due to the pain from the heels, heat and hunger,
but I’m pretty sure they are more than the 500 official count. Oh god! The
heat! It was unbearable! How unbearable? You ask? How about this? My Boss had
also come to attend me reception as she’s also married to a Bong and was in Cal
at that time and while wishing us her husband joked, “If a couple decides to get
married in April in Kolkata they must really love each other!!” True that! Or completely crazy! At that point
of time I wasn’t thinking clearly! It was a long long night, I was introduced to
so many people. Funny thing is, everybody my MIL introduced me to were either
actual relatives (you know second, third, fourth, fifth relative) or just like
a relative (mostly just like my elder sister.. why were there no younger
sisters.. I wonder J)
By the time the last relatives were introduced I had pretty much gave up on
ever getting to sit or eat food. What’s with wedding functions and not getting
to eat anything! Same with the wedding, same with the reception! But as I have
already established, I have been married into a very compassionate family, so
between introductions, I was being slipped in some knick knacks from time to
time, but then to greet people with food in the mouth is not exactly lady-like.
But I survived! Somehow! But whatever I got out of it, the food was super. I’ve
gained 5 kgs since I got married (not that I was any thin prior to the marriage
anyway..) Not proud of the fact L.
And got my lessons number four and five: Four, Bongs are very social people.
Five, They know and appreciate good food.
I spent the next day showing my
parents/aunts/brothers around the city, the heat and humidity did bring down
the general of enthusiasm though. My brothers made fun of me calling me aunty,
so hate them!! But then I saw the pics they clicked.. they weren’t lying.. I
looked so married J.
But loved every bit of it! This was the end of my first trip as a legal Bong.
Next trip would not be too soon I
know, but I know one thing for sure, this Pujo (Yes it’s Durga Puja for the non
Bongs, for “us” Bongs it’s just Pujo J)
I go Pandal hopping in the City of Joy!
The hard part was my trip back home, where for
the first time my parents and I went to different homes, and that’s when my new
life began…
