I write this blog post as I eagerly await my precious' arrival to the big apple! And I figured that there is no better time than now to pen down my thoughts, about being uncoupled (for the want of a better word).
A little background is warranted, so here it goes: I shifted to NY back in March, my husband was going to follow suit, but somehow he didn't. I thought I'll miss home like crazy when I'm all alone in this new city and it will suck big time (I'll be honest it does suck, but not as much as I feared), but then when life gives you lemons, you ask for tequila shots!
So now that I've been doing this for 5 months, I can give you a few tips on how to use your time when you are husband-free:
1. Spend time with yourself: I can't remember the last time I was completely by myself. I honestly don't think I was ever on my own before this forced exile. So this was a good time to get in touch with myself. Turns out, I really don't have much to say to myself, maybe this is because I anyways talk to myself almost on a daily basis with or without people around, or it could also be that because I'm so fast at doing things I got this also done in record time. But the fact is I would not have known this until I got time to introspect.
2. Make new friends: If you've been in a relationship long enough, you forget the need to make new friends. So when you do get time, you should invest in people. This is important so you retain your social skills. Mind you, this does not necessarily mean you start going third wheel on your couple friends, this means make an effort. Also, this does not mean that once your husband joins you stop doing this, now that you have acquired the skills, keep them sharp!
3. Get a hobby: Turns out mine is cooking, and then eating what I cooked while watching copious amounts of TV. Nonetheless, cooking still counts as a very constructive hobby, at least I shall never go hungry! But you could pick up fancier hobbies, you know: extreme sports, adventure tourism, exorcism anything that picks you fancy.
4. Explore your city: This is an amalgamation of the above 3 things. Since you have time, and you have made new friends and you love to eat; you should use your new found freedom to explore the city. This was the best part of being on my own. You realize the best thing about these excursions is the mental notes you make about how you will go back again when you're "coupled" again! Or even better you could also hit those places which you can't go with a tag-along, I would not put in suggestions here lest it be used against me in future fights. My husband reads my blog you know.. (I force him to, but that's not important)
5. Go for a girl trip: I mean come on! You have to do this! It doesn't really even have to be too many of your girlfriends, even one is enough :) I had the best time when my sister visited me and we went for the weekend trips around New York. Not only was it more fun because I was meeting her after a long time, but also because girls are just more fun to hang out with ;)
This list is small on purpose, the best thing that happens when you are on your own is that you become independent. And part of being independent is to not rely on somebody else's lists but make your own!! So stop that mope, put on your dancing shoes and paint the town red my girls :)
A little background is warranted, so here it goes: I shifted to NY back in March, my husband was going to follow suit, but somehow he didn't. I thought I'll miss home like crazy when I'm all alone in this new city and it will suck big time (I'll be honest it does suck, but not as much as I feared), but then when life gives you lemons, you ask for tequila shots!
So now that I've been doing this for 5 months, I can give you a few tips on how to use your time when you are husband-free:
1. Spend time with yourself: I can't remember the last time I was completely by myself. I honestly don't think I was ever on my own before this forced exile. So this was a good time to get in touch with myself. Turns out, I really don't have much to say to myself, maybe this is because I anyways talk to myself almost on a daily basis with or without people around, or it could also be that because I'm so fast at doing things I got this also done in record time. But the fact is I would not have known this until I got time to introspect.
2. Make new friends: If you've been in a relationship long enough, you forget the need to make new friends. So when you do get time, you should invest in people. This is important so you retain your social skills. Mind you, this does not necessarily mean you start going third wheel on your couple friends, this means make an effort. Also, this does not mean that once your husband joins you stop doing this, now that you have acquired the skills, keep them sharp!
3. Get a hobby: Turns out mine is cooking, and then eating what I cooked while watching copious amounts of TV. Nonetheless, cooking still counts as a very constructive hobby, at least I shall never go hungry! But you could pick up fancier hobbies, you know: extreme sports, adventure tourism, exorcism anything that picks you fancy.
4. Explore your city: This is an amalgamation of the above 3 things. Since you have time, and you have made new friends and you love to eat; you should use your new found freedom to explore the city. This was the best part of being on my own. You realize the best thing about these excursions is the mental notes you make about how you will go back again when you're "coupled" again! Or even better you could also hit those places which you can't go with a tag-along, I would not put in suggestions here lest it be used against me in future fights. My husband reads my blog you know.. (I force him to, but that's not important)
5. Go for a girl trip: I mean come on! You have to do this! It doesn't really even have to be too many of your girlfriends, even one is enough :) I had the best time when my sister visited me and we went for the weekend trips around New York. Not only was it more fun because I was meeting her after a long time, but also because girls are just more fun to hang out with ;)
This list is small on purpose, the best thing that happens when you are on your own is that you become independent. And part of being independent is to not rely on somebody else's lists but make your own!! So stop that mope, put on your dancing shoes and paint the town red my girls :)
