Panicking yet? Oh God! Why Not?

OK let me be brutally honest here.. it is eating me crazy, my nonchalance regarding marriage. I would be lying if I say I didn't have a few moments. Here are a few examples the most recent one just ended 5 seconds ago, when I realized not many of the groom's side is turning up for the wedding (I've already vowed revenge! :P )  It's my wedding and it's a big deal to ME! Well Kind of.. Moment two was when I was packing my clothes to be taken to the new house, and my brother said "Acha finally jaa raha hai (Yes.. he talks to me as an inanimate object) OK bye then.." Of course he was mocking me but it struck a note somewhere and then began the water works. He's mean, my Brother! And then there were only these two. Yup! That's about it.

So I asked my mom, as she's the only one I trusted to give me an impartial answer to my question. WHY AM I NOT PANICKING YET?!?!?? She said, "You are afraid when you are getting into something unknown. Where you are not sure of how and what to do. When you are not sure of the dynamics of the new environment you are entering into. You've known Sid for four years now, how long can a person fake who he is? Not four years, that's for sure! You've met his parents, they are such nice people. You chose the house you are going to live in yourself so no surprises there. So where is the scope to fear?"

It makes sense you know, this whole argument my mom gave. Panic would have struck if I feared something not in sync with my plan. I'm not saying it will always be as I want it, but then I'm a person of limited retention capacity, I would have forgotten what my plan was when crisis would present itself let alone crib and shout about it being out of sync. So given that I generally don't make plans, or let's put it honestly, given that I generally don't remember my plans much; the scope of panic striking restricts itself to the very moment the event happens (I'm still thinking it would happen then!).

So while people have been asking me if I feel different; Panic, nervous, scared.. You know the usual, none of them seem to ring true right now because the word I'm looking for is ANTICIPATION. Yes.. That's the word! Remember when I started the blog I said the one thing I was the most excited about was being able to buy all these clothes. Then a few days ago I didn't want to shop anymore because I had to wait so long to use the purchases. Well.. in about a day from now I can wear all my new clothes!! So yes! I am looking forward to the weekend. Also did I tell you, my post marriage abode is only 5 minutes away from my office? Now I save 4 hours of travel time! How cool is that? I know! Very!!

I'm now all out of words and thoughts to share. Don't know what my marital status would be when I get back to the blog again. But I'm sure nothing else about me would change!!

Let the charades begin!!