Thursday, 10 November 2016

It's Chai NOT "Chai Tea"!

And I will slap the next guy who calls it that! (No I won't)

It's a different thing being a tourist in a foreign land. And a completely different thing when you start to live in that foreign land. It is funny how the last year I came for a visit I had decided I hate this place and would never think about moving. And look at me now, here, staying and fat! It's a feat you achieve when you are able to communicate to the barista what kind of coffee you want and another if it comes out the way you wanted it. You think I'm kidding? Ordering a coffee is worse than a viva; the number of questions you have to answer to get that one cup of coffee is mind-boggling. Picture this; the conversation:

Me - "Cappuccino"

Barista - "Caf/de-caf"

Me (Thinking) - "Why would i order coffee if I didn't want caffeine in it?"

Me - "Caf"

Barista - "Milk"

Me (Looking at her puzzled) - "Yes!"

Barista (Irritated) - "Whole Milk/Half n half/ Skimmed"

Me (Not understanding the other two options) - "Whole" (Thinking now it should be done)

Barista - "You want to add any flavors"

Me (Thinking) - "When will this end!!!"

Me - "No thanks!"

Barista - " Your name Please"

Me (Happily) - "Aditi"
(Make Payment, wait for coffee to arrive)

The other Barista - "ABIDI, here'e your coffee!"
(Me not reacting still waiting for my coffee)

The other Barista - "ABIDI, ABIDI, cappuccino whole milk"
(Me sounds like my order, I look at the counter they are all looking at me wondering why am I not responding to what is clearly not my name)

I take the coffee. Take a sip. Realize, even after all these questions the coffee has no sugar and tastes horrible. I put sugar, add more milk, add some chocolate and some vanilla and whatever is available on the table, take a sip, make a face and walk away. From this time forth I decided that I shall become a tea person.

The next time I go for tea, it is the most nose cringing experience in a cafe I've ever had, they took a clearly Indian chai and call it chai tea. The difference between chai tea and tea? Chai Tea has milk, tea doesn't and tea comes in all different flavors and colors none of them go with milk. You ask for tea, you are met with 10000 other questions, you ask for chai you get this really crappy thing called chai tea. And get this, the haldi wala doodh you used to howl and cry just to avoid drinking, is the latest fad here. People think its fashionable to drink Turmeric Latte (Literal translation - Haldi-Doodh) the entire city swooning over it and me just going face-palm. All this just to order one beverage which gives you a kick in the morning!

This is so different from the kind of tea drinking experience in India, baju wale bhaiya asks no questions, you expect no choices, baju wale bhaiya understands almost telepathically. You ask for tea, he gives you a cup from the forever boiling kettle. You take a sip and go""Aah.. aaj elaichi wali hai". I mean where is that element of surprise, if each and every ingredient in a simple cup of tea has been spelled out? I don't think these cafes would ever understand that. The tea stalls are less about the ingredients and more about the surprise. And that perfect cup of joy still eludes me..


And yes, this is an old chai photo. I cant fit into the camera lens at present  J




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